Quick and Dirty

Hey sicko, get your mind out of the gutter. This is about bike racing. And some other stuff.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Aquatic Rodents part deux

Read this at your own risk. I'm reluctantly posting the second part of the rat story 'cause I'm afraid someone will send the PETA folks after me. If you feel strongly about the demise of the rat, give me your phone number and I'll ring you the next time one shows up in my toilet at 3am. You can come and remove it for me.

The little devil was still swimming around at 9am, albeit not as vigorously as at 3am. My mother had suggested catching it in a pot and taking it outside. There is no way I'd ever be able to use the pot again so that method was out. My father suggested holding it down with the toilet plunger, but I definitely couldn't do that. I had thought about reaching in and grabbing it but was worried about a rat bite and consequent rat disease and decided that I'd had enought disease for the year. I fretted around the house with a rapidly filling bladder for as long as possible. When it finally imposibble to hold it any longer on went the big turd wrangler.

Down it goes to towards the bowl.

But the bowl is empty.

The empty bowl is concerning. Ratso didn't escape, I think the little guy got tired of treading water. The unpleasant task of removing Ratso began. I thought it would be easy to reach in and remove the rodent. The only problem was that there was no longer a rat in my toilet. I fished around and reached as far down the poo hole as my wrist and the turd wranglers would allow, no rat. With visions of overflowing bowls and floating bloated rats dancing in my head I flushed. All the water went down. Four more flushes later it was clear that nothing was obstructing the sewer line.

A parting shot of the rat.


At 10:39 PM, Blogger Olaf Vanderhoot said...




At 8:14 PM, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Even the second time reading it (over my shoulder while I read it the first time) Michael's laughing

I love that you documented the wrangling for us.

Much appreciated.



At 9:27 PM, Blogger Josh and Barb said...

The wrangling was actually a reenactment. Glad you enjoyed it, hope to never go through that again.


At 5:50 PM, Blogger Josh and Barb said...

I have to say, I'm pretty glad I wasn't home for all this... Tour de Nez was nasty, but not rat-in-the-toilet nasty. -josh

At 12:34 PM, Blogger PAB said...


what happened to the rat?

i doubt that he flushed himself...

and if he croaked in there, wouldn't he still be there, all floating like?


At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Rob E said...

Darwin reached down and touched that rat.

At 7:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lucky rat got a sweet golden shower!

At 7:30 PM, Blogger greain said...

yo, that sounds like way more fun times than anything I've done lately. Turd wranglers - nice.


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